Networking Redefined: Part Two

Over sixty years ago Dale Carnegie espoused fundamental principles of how to connect with other people in positive ways. Do you believe it’s true that every person has a deep desire to be appreciated and recognized for who they are and what they do well?

If you do, then the most important thing to remember when meeting someone is to take an interest in who they are and what they are trying to achieve. Dale Carnegie taught this in his book and training programs “How To Win Friends and Influence People“.

When we are in a career transition or trying to climb the ladder,we tend to get tangled up in our ego. We    become narcissistic. Everything is about us.  If we can train ourselves to get out of this mode and open our  hearts to others, we will make new connections more easily. Helping someone accomplish his/her goals or  fulfill his/her needs helps build loyalty. What could be more important to any relationship than loyalty?

I find that many clients, when in the grip of desperation (we all know that feeling), take a very short view on relationships. Again falling into the trap of narcissism, they focus on what the person in front of them can do for them right now. Mistake.

Relationships take time. It’s okay to start slowly. It’s a positive move to begin the relationship helping her/him instead of yourself. In fact, you may feel better about you in the meantime. Be interested, ask questions and listen, listen, listen. Really try to help. Follow up. Better yet, take action immediately to put that person in touch with another person or get helpful information. Send them an article or a book or a suggestion.

Let’s not forget Dale Carnegie’s key message. Everyone wants to feel important. Next time you meet a new person or reconnect with someone from the past, focus on making him/her feel important. The caveat in this is that it MUST be sincere. The worst thing you can do is patronize.

Give it time, and if  you approach all of  your relationships this way, I guarantee you will see a change in your career for the better.

If you click this link, you will go to the Dale Carnegie Training site where they are offering a free PDF download of Dale Carnegie’s Secrets to Success.  It’s great. There is nothing earth shattering in it; it’s simple, clear and easy to read. (I would venture to guess that we all need more simplicity in our lives) I’m sure that you will feel that it also rings true.

Dale Carnegie was ahead of his time. Let’s invite his spirit back into our lives – he has a lot of wisdom to share.

For some reason, we all need to hear this stuff over and over to get it through our heads and more importantly, to put it into practice.

Good night, and keep the faith.


3 Responses

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Terry Del Percio and Terry Del Percio, Dorlee M. Dorlee M said: #Networking Redefined Part II @WorkIntegrity begin relationship helping, listening… #careeradvice […]

  2. What a brilliant post Terry, everyone does want to feel important, to feel truly seen and heard.
    My year focus for 2010 is relationships. And what you’ve written will definitely come in handy for that. Thank you!

    • Hi Lana – first of all, what a beautiful name! I don’t think I know anyone named Lana. Thanks so much for your note and what an honorable focus for the year 2010. In fact, I am going to write a post about annual themes. I still haven’t decided on one yet for myself – there are so many areas of development for me! Thanks again for commenting – I hope you come back soon. ~Terry

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