How Power, Kindness & Veggies Can Help Your Career

In a recent Wall Street Journal Article, “How to Fix a Career in the Dumps”, writer Grace L. Williams interviewed Michelle DeAngelis, the author of “Get a Life That Doesn’t Suck”.

Aside from these two provocative titles, Michelle had some interesting and noteworthy things to say. I would recommend taking a look at the article.

What struck me was that she hit on what I believe is a critical career issue that isn’t discussed very often. That is, the issue of personal power.

Grace asks Michelle, “Where do you think people’s power has gone?” Michelle answers;

It has been sucked into the vortex of job insecurity, mergers, upheaval of people at work, reduced income, [and] lost 401(k)s. Where it needs to reside is within each of us internally.

People tend to think their work is their identity. It’s normal and human to do that, but [it's] tying your identity to external circumstances. Anything people can do to maintain an identity that is based on their internal self allows them to keep their power.

Wow. Strong stuff. In my mind, this is right on the money. (no pun intended) Often I wind up spending a lot of time with my clients reshaping how they view themselves and thus how they approach networking and interviewing.

If you have given up your personal power – or just put it in the attic for a while – your career is going to suffer. (More importantly, your life is going to suffer.)

You know who you are.

You go to networking meetings feeling like this person might have the key to your future, so you had better approach them with deference. After all, they’re the ones with the power, right? When nothing profound comes from the conversation, you go home dejected.

If you’re currently working and the CEO leads the organization with less than honorable intentions, you feel trapped but have resigned yourself to this horrible fate because the economy is bad. (You might even have a little pity party for yourself on Friday nights.) In this case I guess it’s the economy that has the power. Or maybe your just bored out of your mind, but because you need the money, you keep up the routine.

Because I think it’s so important, I’m going to repeat one of the lines from Michelle’s interview.

Anything people can do to maintain an identity that is based on their internal self allows them to keep their power.

So what can people do to maintain an identify that is based on their internal self? That’s the big question that wasn’t addressed in the article. (I’m not sure if it’s addressed in her book either)

A few suggestions.

1. LEARN TO MEDITATE. If you have never learned how to meditate, give it a try. I don’t mean sit down once and try to calm down your mind – that won’t do the trick. True meditation takes a long time and dedicated practice. If you are willing to make a long-term commitment, I can almost guarantee that you that your personal power will strengthen from within. [A book you might want to check out is "Hurry Up & Meditate"]

2. LIVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. There is nothing more empowering than taking control over your health. I know it’s easy to say but not always easy to do. Start small and build momentum. Eat good food (more local vegetables). Move your body more often. Drink good water. Take time for a healthy lunch even when you are busy.

3. FIND OUT WHAT MAKES YOU GROUNDED. This is different for different people. For many it is a spiritual connection, or getting close to nature or spending quality time with loved ones. As corny as it may sound, feeding your soul matters. Do it.

4. BE KINDER. I have a theory that kindness strengthens our personal power. It aligns us with everything that is good about ourselves. Kindness has a way of sustaining and healing. Feeling sorry for yourself because you didn’t land that job? Get out there and do something to help someone else who is looking.

You may be wondering why I am talking about these types of things in the context of careers. Your inner strength will have a tremendous positive impact on your external life in every way, including your career. People who are grounded and safe within themselves hold great appeal to others.

The truth is, everything really is connected.

Networking Faux Pas #2: THE DAMAGE DONE

SITUATION

My client Jack (not his real name) was a successful investment researcher with very strong technological capabilities. Jack wanted to refocus his career towards software business development.

A previous client, Roger (not his real name), had recently landed at a high growth software services firm. Roger was doing extremely well at this company and I knew he’d be willing to meet Jack.

I set up a virtual introduction and was thrilled to hear that Roger and Jack connected very quickly through email and were scheduled to meet.

Towards the end of the day of the alleged meeting, I sent Roger a quick email to see how the meeting went. Roger immediately responded and said, “Your client stood me up and didn’t even call. What kind of guy is this? I’m ticked off. Not a very good first impression.”

This didn’t seem like it made sense. I was confused and somewhat concerned. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I called Jack to hear what happened. He didn’t answer his phone. I left a concerned message.

A few hours later Jack sent an email and said, “I’m fine. I just got tied up with driving my kids to school and couldn’t make it. I called and rescheduled and apologized – what more does he want?”

REPUTATION

I finally reached Jack live on the phone. He acted as if it was no big deal and he assumed everything was fine because he had rescheduled.

It turns out that Jack did call to reschedule, but he called a few hours after the scheduled time. Essentially Roger was correct – he DID get stood up!

I was furious. Not only did Jack lose all credibility with a person he hadn’t even met yet, but he had imposed a black mark against my reputation. Not good.

Could Jack recoup his losses? Not likely. His chance was gone.

Would I ever introduce him to another one of my contacts? No. Not because he couldn’t make it to the appointment – stuff happens. But Jack used very poor judgment in how he handled the situation from every angle.

SUGGESTION

Jack should have called Roger immediately upon realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to keep his commitment.

We all know what it’s like to juggle personal issues and business commitments. Sometimes we have to put our family first – everybody understands that. But letting Roger wait for several hours before contacting him was a major faux pas.

Not only did Jack seem inconsiderate and rude, but he put me in a very awkward position. On top of all this, he was flip and dismissive when asked about the situation.

First impressions stick like glue. Common courtesy and respecting others’ time seem simple enough, yet some highly experienced people can’t get it right.

Treat contacts like gold – for indeed, they are extremely valuable.

Top Skill for Career Changers & Job Seekers

What is the most important skill to possess these days to maintain some sense of sanity?

Perspective.

Most of us have already experienced the bizarre nature of life, with its twists, turns, surprises, joys and lessons. What is the one thing that can keep us on an even keel through the ups and downs? Perspective.

This also holds true during a career transition or job search. If you can’t maintain a sense of perspective, you are in for a rather dramatic roller coaster ride and a strong possibility of losing your cool.

What is perspective? Here’s my take. It’s the ability (and propensity) to see the same situation through different lenses so as to provide some emotional distance from the issue at hand.

Why am I bringing this up now, you ask? While reading a guest blog on CAREEREALISM (@JT O’Donnell) I took note of a post by Colin Nanka.

Colin referred to a story about Ted Leonsis’ brush with death back in 1983 and how it transformed his life.

“Ted Leonsis, the owner of the Washington Capitals and an Internet multimillionaire, may seem like a guy who has it all. But he hasn’t done it all. When he survived a plane crash landing in 1983, he made a list of 101 things he wanted to do in life.”

At the time of the article, Ted had accomplished 78 things on his list and was still going strong.

Colin’s point was that many of us don’t take stock of our lives very often. (Of course we don’t – we’re ‘too busy’ or distracted most of the time)

If we want to be happier people and lead rich and fulfilling lives, it might behoove us to think about this more often. I like how Colin said it; “Many people meander through life, letting life blow them around like a leaf in the wind”.

If we have perspective, we can glide more easily through the difficult process of career transition, unemployment, or the ups and downs of a frustrating job search. Because in the scheme of things, just how life-altering is it that the CEO was rude to you or that you haven’t heard back from the biotech firm you interviewed with 10 days ago?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the journey (career transition or life) is easy by any means. But keeping perspective let’s everything fall in its place in due time without as many deep bruises.

So the next time you feel slighted by that new contact that hasn’t returned your call, remind yourself that you have clean water to drink and air to breathe…and you probably heard the birds singing today.

One of the best methods of maintaining perspective is by focusing your energy on someone else who is in a tougher situation than you are. There are plenty of people out there that probably fit that bill.

And while you’re waiting for that recruiter to call you back, start writing a list of the 101 things you want to do in your life before you die.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Breaking Thru Self Resistance

We are complicated creatures.

We want change in our lives, yet we often don’t take the actions needed to achieve that change. Do we see ourselves resisting? Not usually.

I am working with an interesting client, Trudy (not her real name). When I first met her, Trudy even fooled me into thinking that she was going to be pushing through the obstacles of career change like Michael Phelps through an olympic swimming pool.

Not so. Trudy is her own greatest resistance.

Trudy has a lot to offer. She is a natural leader, has great presentation skills, and is extremely self-motivated; except when it comes to her career transition.

She is stalling. Big time.

Fascinating.

Trudy came into my office last week almost in a haze. Out of ten action items we had agreed on, she attempted only one. She was very nonchalant about not taking any action. We talked for a while and then she said, “I’m just not making any progress. Why can’t I make this change happen?”

Hmmm. Interesting that Trudy doesn’t connect the dots that she might not be succeeding because she hasn’t done anything about it. In her mind, she has been extremely busy and therefore she should be getting offers.

The problem is that Trudy is busy with everything else except her career. She has been harried and running errands for everyone in her family for the past six weeks – always putting off her own calling.

We had a heart to heart discussion. It’s time to address the fears and insecurities and decide to either work through them or give up.

What could Trudy be afraid of? Hmm. Failure? Success? Getting rejected? How her husband might feel if she makes more money than he does?… how her 25 year old son might feel if Trudy isn’t always at his beckon call?…

(We can think of a thousand excuses to sabotage ourselves.)

You can keep yourself crazy busy running with miscellaneous activities, or you can get down to the business of moving your life forward.

In Herminia Ibarra’s book, Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career, she states that sometimes you need to slow down and step back. You can’t live in between two worlds – it’s stressful there. It takes more energy to have one foot in the boat and one on the shore, than to get in or out.

Which is it?

Faux Pas #1 – Networking

Reputation is everything. We hear that over and over. It’s true. Yet there are certain behaviors that many of us are guilty of that tarnish our reputation. They seem like small things, but they’re not.

Take networking. Most of us know it’s crucial to a career, yet some people still don’t take it seriously.

Several people have blown my mind lately with their lackadaisical (and sometimes oblivious) approach to networking, especially if they are looking for a new position.

Let’s keep it simple. I’ll be writing about a series of faux pas’ over the next several weeks. Which faux pas have you committed lately? Here’s the first.

Faux Pas #1

SITUATION: You’ve had a tough few weeks. You’ve been on the job hunt for a few months with no progress – everything seems to have come to a screeching halt. Your good friend (Darren) is concerned, and emails a contact (Sarah) and asks if she will meet with you. Sarah has known Darren for a long time, so of course she says, “Sure”.

Darren initiates a virtual introduction through email. He feels good because this may get some momentum going for you. After all, Sarah is VP of Marketing for a global consumer goods company, and you are looking for a Director of Marketing role. She may be able to put you in touch with other people.

Darren sees Sarah at a party a couple of weeks later. She says, ‘Hey, I never heard from your friend, what’s up?’ Darren is caught off guard. “Gee, I thought he would have contacted you already, sorry about that.”

“No worries”, Sarah says, “I’m swamped at work anyway and I’m leaving for a business trip. I’ll be gone for a few weeks.”

REPUTATION: Alrighty then! Darren feels like a jerk after asking Sarah to do him a favor, and Sarah thinks you’re not really serious about your job search anyway so it’s no big deal to her. She’s got more important things to worry about.

You see Darren later the following week. He asks why you didn’t contact Sarah and you say, ‘Oh, I forgot all about it. I just haven’t gotten to it yet – too busy. Dam, I feel like I’m never going to land a job this time.’ Darren SAYS ‘No problem’, but what is he really thinking?

He’s THINKING, “How could you complain about not landing a job when you didn’t even take me up on a sure thing to meet with Sarah? I’ve know her for years and she is always willing to help. I try not to ask her for too many favors because I know she travels a lot and is under a lot of pressure at work. That’s the last time I hook you up with one of my contacts- you’re on your own.”

Oh, and Sarah? She found out just before she left for her business trip that her company just put a requisition in for a Marketing Director in a sister division. What do you think the chances are that she’ll tell Darren to let you know?

SUGGESTION: If someone sets you up through a direct introduction to network with someone from their circle, have the good sense and common courtesy to follow up within 48 hours. If you decide you aren’t going to follow up quickly, for god’s sake – inform your original contact!!

There may be hidden reasons why you didn’t follow up with Sarah quickly. If you are introverted, you may just need some time to prepare and muster up the emotional energy to meet with someone when you are already stressed. Still no excuse not to communicate appropriately with your original contact and save your reputation.

Note: @Wendy Gelberg wrote a book on the Introvert’s  job search… an article  in Forbes quotes her,

http://tinyurl.com/dbudct

Twitter for Boomer Skeptics

Eight weeks ago it was very cold in Boston and I didn’t know what the heck Twitter was.

If a client asked me whether Twitter was important for his/her career my answer was ‘no, just use LinkedIn’. What value would there be in using a tool where kids tweet about having scones for breakfast?

I’ve done a 180 degree turn since then.  There was so much buzz about Twitter that I realized I needed to get with the program. Besides, I was extremely curious. Every day I heard references to the tremendous growth of social media among boomers and I wanted to be involved – I had to be involved.

Fast forward to today. I tell everyone to get on it right now, get familiar with it and use it to help build your online reputation.

Did I just say that? Three months ago I actually thought  Twitter was absurd. Now I can’t get enough of it. It’s all about information, relationships and engagement. Let me repeat. It’s all about information, relationships and engagement. Starting to get the picture?

If you aren’t participating in new media, you are at a (huge) disadvantage in your career. If you don’t know the lingo – you run the risk of being viewed as a dinosaur. (and it might be true)

You might find Twitter a bit overwhelming at first – I did. Let the process take you for a ride, relax and have fun.

Here are five simple steps to get started.

1. Jump in and begin. Trust me on this. Don’t analyze it beforehand. Just get on it.

2. Read Joel Comm’s book entitled “Twitter Power”. Before I read it, I would log in and stare at the screen like a deer in headlights. “Twitter Power” gets to the point and gives it context. It gave me a jump start.

3. Talk about it with other people. Sharing info and asking questions speeds up the learning process.

4. Remember the big picture. Twitter is one tool in creating an online reputation. A website and a blog go hand in hand with social media, but that will come later, just think about how you want to be perceived.

5. Be generous in sharing information and be kind with your words. It’s still easier to attract bees with honey rather than vinegar.

I’m still learning and having a great time. Write to me and tell me what you think.

Follow me at http://twitter.com/WorkIntegrity

Outside the Circle

As strange as it may sound, when it comes to reinventing ourselves, sometimes our friends and colleagues are likely to put up obstacles rather than help us move towards change. They usually don’t do it intentionally, but they tend to reinforce and preserve our “old” identity. This very identity might be the one we are trying to leave behind.

Changing the nature of our work is also about changing the relationships that are front and center in our professional lives. Although we may hang on to very close relationships with a few colleagues and friends, we need to find people who will help us see and grow into our new selves.  Every career change requires social support.  New and even distant acquaintances will help us push off in a new direction.  Look for these people on the outer edges or outside of your existing networks.

Have you reached out to anyone outside your safe network this week?  Have you had a conversation with someone who has made a similar transition to what you are thinking about?

http://twitter.com/WorkIntegrity

http://www.linkedin.com/in/terrydelpercio

Just Breathe – Keeping Your Cool in the Midst of Chaos

The pace of life can be overwhelming.

Add to that the state of the economy and the stress of financial burdens or of unemployment lurking like a shadow in the darkness…the result can be a disconnection with our true nature or essence.

Think this is silly?

I know  cynics out there  think references to our true nature (or whatever term you like) are ‘new age nonsense’, but I insist on persevering.

If you are not grounded in your connection to your own center of being, you will find the process of job search or career transition even more difficult than usual. If you are not grounded, you are more likely to be controlled by stress and this will most certainly effect your health in a negative way. There is scientific evidence of this (in case you need a metric).

If you are a leader in an organization right now, but are out of touch with an interconnection between yourself and the world…you may find yourself living a superficial life that can be shattered very easily.

We must find ways to reflect and find connection. Not connections through the internet or with our constituents (although these may be wise from a business standpoint) – but a deeper connection with something bigger than ourselves.

Many executives and professionals are turning to meditation techniques to find some calm in the midst of never-ending stress. Others are learning yoga. Many turn to nature to find connection.

How do you find it?

Stay tuned. More to come.

twitter@workintegrity.com

ShoutEm

I found this great  information about Twitter today:

1. Ask questions to your readers. What do they think about the topics you are covering, covered or plan to cover? Thoughts? Opinions?Since microblogging networks put a limit on how many characters you can write people have to get to the point. Keeping it simple means all the feedback you get is meaningful.
2. Answer questions. Ok, so answering all your e-mail is going to lead to e-mail bancruptcy pretty quickly. By having a Twitter account or maybe even your own dedicated network you can crowdsource your community questions. You may not know the answer, but I’m one of your followers does. Or one of his followers. Microblogging lets information circulate quickly, giving people the i nformation they need – when they need it.
3. Share the passion and linkup. What makes a real community are shared interests and passions. Your readers may love reading your articles, but why stop there. Link up other articles on the topic you cover. Give your readers a chance to explore videos, PDFs. By doing so, you strengthen your relationship with them. There on the inside, and you’re one of the guys sharing the good stuff.
4. Follow the trends and create hashtags. Trend such as #FollowFriday have become rituals in their own right. By participating in them you can gain exposure since a lot of users monitor certain hashtags. Also, you can create your own meme. Love movies? Start #ThrillerThursday and encourage people to recommend interesting thrillers.
5. Monitor the Twittersphere. With the help of Twitter search, you can monitor Twitter for terms relating to your topic. Say you write about stocks. Monitoring the term “stocks” lets you engage people who are interested in your topic. They have a question? Well – go on – help them!Your Community + Microblogging
6. Be accessible yet private. With a blog, you become a public figure. Yes, your blog gives you a celebrity-like status to your readers. You the blogger. With time, people want to know more about you, but forums and e-mail make it hard. Microblogging on the other hand gives your community a backchannel into your life. So we discovered that Jason Calacanis loves his dogs and Kevin Rose drinks a lot of tea. The same applies to your own followers. They do want to know those little interesting quirks that sum you up as a person. Through Twitter you can share the little moments you want to share, while still keeping your privacy.
7. Host contests and offer goodies. Namecheap runs “Fun Facts” Twitter contests. Every hour on the hour Namecheap asks a question and if you answer it correctly you get a $10 credit to your Namecheap account. Two of the players who answer the most questions in the period of two weeks get a Dell Inspiron Netbooks. Basically, they are teaching their community to pay attention. Their tweets don’t go unnoticed. Hosting a contest in terms of getting a response from the community is not hard since there’s basically no entry barrier.
8. Feature your fans and retweet. Retweeting is also part of the Twitter culture. Basically, if you find something interesting on Twitter, you quote or “retweet” the message, crediting the user who posted it. With your own community you can do the same thing. When a prominent blogger features one’ tweet its like saying “This guy /gal is cool, and this tweet is even cooler”. Social proof you need to use.
9. Offer them the world. By letting people engage you through Twitter or your own microblogging network you’re introducing them to a whole new level of social networking. By teaching things like how to retweet, use various tools and so on you’re impowering the community. People like to learn stuff and they respect people who show them things. I know I still respect the guy who taught me what RSS feeds were, and yes – I follow him on Twitter.
10. Let them speak. Giving your community a chance to speak is at the essence of each and every of the things we went through in this article. In that spirit, what would you do to build your blog community with Twitter and microblogging?

ShoutEm, Mar 2009

You should read the whole article.

Getting Laid Off – Taking the High Road

It’s not every day that I meet with a client  (Jennifer) who got laid off and is okay with it. Today was such a day.

These are troubling times for many.  Losing one’s job is no picnic, especially when you have two small children and a mortgage to pay. Yet there is something about being grounded in who you are and in the reputation you’ve built so far in your career.

Many are understandably angry and scared when they get the news that their position has been eliminated. Surprisingly enough, Jennifer wasn’t one of them.

Here are a few hints as to why Jennifer is okay.  First of all, Jennifer has been building her career portability for 15 years.  She is in the energy industry and has purposely been volunteering within her organization to work on the most highly visible renewable energy projects – even though they were risky. For example, she launched a renewable energy products initiative.

Sure enough, since the renewable energy project is not considered the company’s core business, the business unit is being dissolved because of the economic crisis.  Jennifer was offered another job inside the company – the one she had prior to this exciting role. Yep, it’s definitely a good feeling to have “another job” in your pocket and a choice.

Jennifer slept on it for one night.  When she talked with her husband, he agreed that it didn’t make sense for her to go “backwards” and take a demotion – and most importantly, do work she didn’t enjoy. (By the way, Jennifer’s husband is a stay-at-home Dad).

Jennifer called her boss and informed her that she would not be accepting this position. The boss was surprised. At first, Jennifer panicked a bit and thought “What did I do?”.  But after a couple of days, she has concluded that she did the right thing. She has been building momentum in her career and working towards a place in Clean Energy. If she stepped backwards, what would this do to her momentum?  How would that position her for moving forward?  It’s a moment of truth.

As a matter of fact, the company President called her and told her that he admired her integrity because she did not take the other position, just for the sake of having a job now – only to leave it a few months later when she found something else.  Many colleagues inside the company have praised her courage and her integrity.

Some may say Jennifer is crazy – but she certainly is leaving the company with a strong and positive reputation, and many people in her network who would be happy to help her in any way they can. Sounds smart to me.

Oh yes – by the way.  One BIG reason why Jennifer is in a position to make this choice is that she has diligently saved over the past several years and has built a comfortable financial cushion for herself.  This gives her the freedom of some time. Smart moves, Jennifer.